If you know me, you know that Sex And The City (SATC) is one of my FAVORITE shows. As soon as I see the episode title on the tv screen, I already know who’s dating each of the main characters and I prepare to recite my favorite lines. I also adore the SATC movies. Although the first one was way better than the second one, each movie holds a special place in my heart!
Yesterday I decided to watch the first SATC movie. While watching Carrie and Mr. Big‘s practical engagement and their infamous breakup, for the first time, I found myself watching the movie as a wedding planner instead of a hopeless romantic.
This sparked a conversation with myself about how the wedding day transpired in the movie. Why didn’t the planner build in time for traffic to ensure everyone would be on time? Why didn’t the Maid of Honor have Carrie’s cell phone instead of it sitting unanswered on the table? Are my people skills good enough to handle a wedding cancellation like this one?
I took down some notes on all the things I would’ve done differently to get Big and Carrie down the aisle, but then I had a thought. What caused all this drama in the first place?
Of course, real fans know that Big had commitment issues throughout the show’s history. But that’s not the only reason why he got cold feet! He had one other problem that I think real life couples can learn from:
Don’t leave your partner out of the wedding planning process!
In the movie, Carrie and Big initially took a businesslike approach to their engagement and plans for marriage. They both wanted to get married without all the fuss.
But as soon as Carrie received the designer dress of her dreams, everything changed. Carrie got carried away and the plans got bigger without Big’s input! Before you know it, the guest list went from 2 to 200 and the formal affair was announced in the New York Times! This all led up to the most epic movie breakup of all time!
Just to be clear, I’m not saying that your grand, formal wedding will be cancelled if you don’t include your partner while planning. That was just in the movie.
However, it is important for couples to work together when planning to ensure you both get what you want on your special day! Remember, it’s not just your wedding!
To skip the Carrie and Big wedding drama, here are some simple ways to ensure your planning process is a wonderful shared experience with your partner!
Hire A Planner
A great Planner (like myself) will ensure that both parties provide input in the process and will mediate if there are challenges when making decisions.Agree On A Budget And Expectations
Don’t assume you have the same ideas when it comes to the budget and wedding details. Before you begin planning, talk with your partner to confirm your budget and agree on the style of the wedding (formal, informal).Make All Your Decisions Together
You and your partner should discuss and decide every detail of your wedding. This way, you can truly call it your day!Put Your Relationship First
Don’t let wedding planning take over your life. Make it a priority while taking time for activities that have nothing to do with the wedding. This is another area where hiring a wedding planner is helpful. You make the decisions and the planner handles all the details!
Ultimately Carrie Bradshaw and John James Preston (Mr. Big) found their way back to each other despite their initial wedding planning issues. They kept things simple and got married at City Hall and Carrie wore a label-less dress!
I hope all the real life couples out there learn a valuable lesson from this fictional story. As you’re planning, keep your partner involved. You’ll find that working together on your “happily ever after” will enhance your relationship on your wedding day and beyond!